Ha Ha

"I cannot go to school today,"Said little Peggy Ann McKay."I have the measles and the mumps,A gash, a rash, and purple bumps.My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,I'm going blind in my right eye.My tonsils are as big as rocks,I've counted sixteen chicken pox.And there's one more - that's seventeen!And don't you think my face looks green?My leg is cut, my eyes are blue-It might be instamatic flu.I cough and sneeze and gasp and chokeI'm sure that my left leg is broke.My hip hurts when I move my chin,My belly button's caving in,My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,My 'pendix pains each time it rains.My nose is cold, my toes are numb,I have a sliver in my thumb.My neck is stiff, my spine is weak.I hardly whisper when I speak.My tongue is filling up my mouth,I think my hair is falling out.My elbow's bent - my spine ain't straight.My temperature is one-o-eight.My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,There is a hole inside my ear.I have a hangnail, and my heart is-...WHAT?What's that?What's that you say?You say today is...Saturday?G'bye, I'm going out to play!"